Field Notes

January 26, 2026 4 min read

How to talk to your children about the Minnesota shootings

The news cycle is bad enough on a good day, but lately, the headlines have been gut-wrenching. Enough have asked, so here it is: As someone who used to carry a gun professionally, and having watched the extensive video footage on both incidents, these shootings should NEVER have happened. A total leadership failure, and the officers involved will have to... The news cycle is bad enough on a good day, but lately, the headlines have been gut-wrenching. Enough...

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January 23, 2026 4 min read

The Parenting ROI: Are You Raising a Captain or a Casualty?

The parenting industrial complex is a predatory beast, a multi-billion-dollar machine fueled by the neuroses of successful adults who think they can buy their way to a “correct” childhood. It is a parade of soft-handed experts and Instagram gurus selling a version of domestic bliss that is about as real as Trump buying Greenland. They chase perfection, but parenting is... The parenting industrial complex is a predatory beast, a multi-billion-dollar machine fueled by the neuroses of successful adults...

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January 20, 2026 3 min read

The Truth About Money No One Wants to Say Until It’s an Emergency

Last week, my 21-year-old daughter scared the hell out of me and her mom. One minute, life is normal. The next minute, your daughter is sitting in a public ER in London that feels like a DMV designed by Putin.Health issues can come out of nowhere. Fluorescent lights, uncomfortable chairs, and a waiting room full of people quietly realizing the... Last week, my 21-year-old daughter scared the hell out of me and her mom. One minute, life is...

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January 17, 2026 13 min read

Write It Down. Make It Real.

Every year, I take a personal trip to read, reflect, and write down my goals for the coming year. Last year I went to Austria, and this year it was Paris. I preferred the loud silence of the Austrian Alps to the Parisian bustle, and next year will be someplace with fewer distractions. I am sharing this personal goals and... Every year, I take a personal trip to read, reflect, and write down my goals for the coming...

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January 14, 2026 3 min read

Why Letting Kids Fail Is an Act of Love

Every parent I know wants the same thing. We want our kids to be happy, confident, and safe. Somewhere along the way, though, many of us started confusing protection with preparation. In trying to shield our kids from discomfort, disappointment, and failure, we are robbing them of the very experiences that make adulthood survivable.The real world does not come with... Every parent I know wants the same thing. We want our kids to be happy, confident, and safe....

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January 12, 2026 4 min read

Be the Calm "Airline Captain" Voice in the Cabin for Your Kids

The world feels really loud right now. Media competes for our attention with urgency, outrage, and worst case scenarios. The modern news cycle does not exist to make you wiser. It exists to keep you activated. Triggered even. Fear keeps people scrolling. Calm sends them offline to the Maldives.What’s changed is not that the world is dangerous. The world has... The world feels really loud right now. Media competes for our attention with urgency, outrage, and worst case...

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January 8, 2026 2 min read

Your kids don’t need better rules. They need a calmer leader.

Most parents… React instead of regulate.Project instead of pause.Try to control outcomes instead of shaping mindset.I learned this the hard way.As a Navy SEAL sniper, before we ever touched a rifle, we trained the mind.Breathing. Visualization. Positive Self-talk.Because panic kills performance.Parenting is no different.Your kids don’t need you louder.They need you calmer.They’re constantly recording the world through your reactions.Your tone... Most parents… React instead of regulate.Project instead of pause.Try to control outcomes instead of shaping mindset.I learned this...

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January 7, 2026 3 min read

Small Skills, Big Confidence

I’ve tracked terrorists in the mountains for a living, and I’ve watched boarding teams take over hostile ships at a thousand feet as a helicopter sniper. None of that compares to teaching a kid how to tie their shoes and seeing that big grin of accomplishment like they just summited Everest in the 1930s.Here’s the truth most people miss. Little... I’ve tracked terrorists in the mountains for a living, and I’ve watched boarding teams take over hostile ships...

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December 29, 2025 5 min read

America Is F*cked Right Now—Loudly, Publicly, With Receipts.

America has always been a beautiful, loud, half-broken experiment run by argumentative primates, and the only reason it keeps surviving is that enough people keep choosing the hard option, speaking up when power tells them to shut up.I’m going to say the quiet part out loud, because whispering hasn’t helped anyone lately.America is fucked right now. Loudly. Publicly. With receipts.... America has always been a beautiful, loud, half-broken experiment run by argumentative primates, and the only reason it...

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December 27, 2025 2 min read

OUR KIDS NEED PERSPECTIVE

America feels like a rolling tire fire right now. But here’s the part nobody wants to talk about: our kids are watching all of this, and most of them are being raised without the one thing that actually helps people survive turmoil—perspective.The world has always been a little messy. Every generation thinks theirs is the end of times because they’re... America feels like a rolling tire fire right now. But here’s the part nobody wants to talk about:...

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December 18, 2025 3 min read

For Kids, Suffering and Perspective is Power.

The recent killing of the Reiners is gut-wrenching but it got me thinking. How could this happen to such loving parents? Too many times, I’ve seen parents shield their kids from struggle out of love, only to create troubled adults in the process—kids who grow up and have no perspective and no consequences. If you’ve seen the recent Charlie Sheen... The recent killing of the Reiners is gut-wrenching but it got me thinking. How could this happen to...

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December 8, 2025 2 min read

Let Your Kids Do Hard Things

One of the great lies of modern parenting is that love means cushioning the fall. I get why well-meaning, misinformed parents do it. Watching your kid struggle feels like running a marathon in cheap Mexican flip-flops. But if we shield them from the hard things in life, we don’t raise stronger kids. We raise kids who think bumps are emergencies.... One of the great lies of modern parenting is that love means cushioning the fall. I get why...

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December 2, 2025 3 min read

Holiday Rules for College Kids: Keep It Fun So They Come Back

Your college kids are coming home for the holidays like a bunch of half-trained German Shepherds who just discovered freedom and tequila. This is the part where parents start resorting to old habits better avoided, unless you want to push your kids away.Hovering, lecturing, and trying to run the house like it’s still their sophomore year of high school. Don’t.... Your college kids are coming home for the holidays like a bunch of half-trained German Shepherds who just...

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December 1, 2025 2 min read

Parenting Love Isn't Soft, it's Steady

Love isn’t soft, it’s steady. I used to think love was mostly about protection.Then I realized that kind of love is fragile. It breaks the second life gets hard!Real love holds the line. It says no when no is the right answer. It follows through even when everyone’s tired and nobody’s clapping.Follow through is EVERYTHING. In my upcoming book, Puddle... Love isn’t soft, it’s steady. I used to think love was mostly about protection.Then I realized that kind...

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November 24, 2025 2 min read

Failure is Great Training

Being prepared when our kids fail is an amazing teaching opportunity. It teaches what comfort and shielding never will. Every time a kid misses the shot, bombs the test, forgets the lines, gets cut from the team, or faceplants in front of their friends, life is handing them a gift. A messy, humbling, priceless rep. If we swoop in to... Being prepared when our kids fail is an amazing teaching opportunity. It teaches what comfort and shielding never...

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November 21, 2025 2 min read

Calm Parents Raise Strong Kids

Calm is our greatest weapon with our kids. I learned that the same way I learned most things in life: the hard way, by messing it up first. In the Navy SEAL Teams, especially as a sniper, staying centered under pressure kept me alive. In parenting, it keeps the connection alive. When a kid loses control, they scan us to... Calm is our greatest weapon with our kids. I learned that the same way I learned most things...

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November 13, 2025 2 min read

Resilience in The Ordinary

The daily mundane things that many parents protect their kids from are exactly what they need to build confidence and resilience. A friend of mine in Lisbon grew up wealthy, then his family lost it all. He told me when he went to college, he didn’t even know how to do his own laundry or even make a sandwich! Nannies... The daily mundane things that many parents protect their kids from are exactly what they need to build...

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November 11, 2025 1 min read

Purpose doesn’t arrive gift-wrapped for our children

Our kids don’t trip over purpose. We have to help them find it through encouraging repetition, exposure to multiple disciplines, letting them fail, and showing them how to have the guts to start again. This photo is of my three Puddle Jumpers during the summer of 2020. When the world was locked down, we decided to go diving. I got... Our kids don’t trip over purpose. We have to help them find it through encouraging repetition, exposure to...

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November 6, 2025 2 min read

Disciplining Our Kids

Kids need Discipline, but I see so many parents get this wrong. They punish when they are as emotionally charged as a Trump rally in Manhattan, and they often fail to get to the “why” of the behavior. Kids end up confused, afraid, withdrawn, or worse. I almost overpunished my youngest son after a school suspension and risked pushing him... Kids need Discipline, but I see so many parents get this wrong. They punish when they are as...

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November 3, 2025 2 min read

The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday

Being a parent is one of the best jobs on the planet, but it’s not easy. However, consistency and follow-through make a tough job a little less so, and your kids will learn to respect you for it. I talked about this in my last post. We used to have a village to help, but now, not so much. Grandparents,... Being a parent is one of the best jobs on the planet, but it’s not easy. However, consistency...

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